Last week, at the tender age of 16, my baby boy, my firstborn left for Espana. In some ways, I spent the summer being prepped for his departure but, still, I was not ready to see him leave for four months. He spent a great deal of the summer visiting friends in various parts of the country, earning his scuba diving license in St. Croix, and performing with his theater/trapeze troupe. These short absences that accumulated to most of the summer should have eased the way for me to watch him out of my sight at the airport, but they didn’t. It was still painful. Don’t get me wrong. I am excited for the adventure that he is about to have. I am thrilled for him, but as a mom, I miss him already. During the months leading to his departure, my son kept encouraging me to get a hobby. Perhaps it was premonition. Who will I cook for? Who will I yell at for leaving his shoes and clothes in the middle of the room? Will he call to share how his day went? Will he email me his best piece of writing, or practice his soliloquy on Zoom? After all, since our daughter became vegetarian, she cooks most of her meals herself or with my husband. No one eats as much as my athlete son in the house. My daughter hates sharing her writings. She spends more of her spare time on the phone with her friends than she spends with me. Will I secretly miss being Mama Uber? All thoughts that raced through my mind while I drove back from the airport.
We raised the boy to be an independent and kind person, to make his own decisions, to seek adventure, to not be afraid of the unknown. As we drove to the airport, I asked him what most excited him about the trip and he responded that it was the unknown. His desire to study in Spain stemmed out of a yearning to experience another culture while significantly improving his Spanish in an immersive environment. For the last five years, he has been learning Chinese. He was in fifth grade when he declared that he wanted to learn Chinese and Latin. At the time, his school did not offer those languages. However, once we moved back to Massachusetts, he began studying Chinese. As a result, he neglected Spanish, the language of his schooling from Pre-Kindergarten through third grade. This is his opportunity to catch up on years of missed formal training in Spanish.
In the few days since he has been in Spain, he is already learning new vocabulary. He is exploring his environs, getting lost, and finding his way. One of his wishes was to be placed in a family where he could have younger siblings. The program was able to honor that. He has three younger siblings, along with his Spanish parents. He is enjoying family and scholarly life in Spain.
I’ll end this post by saying that, while he was excited to chat with us by Zoom a week after he left, he asked me not to call or text him every day. He explained that it would feel like he never left. It broke my heart a little but I understood. My boy is growing up.
