How many times have you heard people say “I’m not here to make friends” when referring to workplace relationships? I have heard it almost exclusively from women. Not wanting to make friends at work is the wrong attitude toward work and can hinder your career progression and success. I will also caution you to choose your friends wisely. And, although I have friends who have been lucky to find their soulmates at work, I don’t recommend workplace romance.
The empirical evidence around employee satisfaction, productivity, retention, and so many individual and employer outcomes is overwhelmingly positive when it comes to healthy workplace friendships.
How many times have you gone above and beyond, fast-tracked, spoken up for, or extended yourself for someone you care about? People do backflips for people they know, like, trust, and know would do the same for them. Yes, most of us engage in acts of altruism, but we more consistently put others’ interests ahead of or alongside ours when we know them. You still do your job, but add the cherry on top for your friend. It’s human nature.
Another comment that I have heard people make is: “I don’t do politics.” Let me say this: any place where you have people, you have politics. That is also human nature. The trick is learning how to understand the dynamics, navigate the politics, have an awareness of work and outcomes that the institution (including your boos and peers) value and what they don’t, steer away from gossip, drama and nonsense, and lead with your values.
Leading with your values can mean getting political. In those moments, I recommend being very strategic. Developing political savvy is a skill needed at all levels of contribution, management, and leadership. Just because it is comfortable for you doesn’t mean that you should avoid forging strong relationships or developing political savvy.
We learn the most when we dare to enter our zones of discomfort. The risk is failing, and you will learn from your failures. So, start taking smaller risks early in your career so that you have the practice and experience. If the first risk you take is when the stakes are high, the failure also has the most adverse and consequential potential.
Here are a few resources on the topic:
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/argument-pro-fraternization-work-culture-rachel-conard
https://hbr.org/2022/10/the-power-of-work-friends
https://hr.nih.gov/working-nih/competencies/competencies-dictionary/political-savvy
https://www.ccl.org/articles/leading-effectively-articles/6-aspects-of-political-skill
